Some of the Best Quotes & Mantras From Dr. John A. Zoidberg

Futurama is a science fiction TV sitcom that lasted from 1999 to 2013. It’s a series from The Simpsons creator Matt Groening that is still treasured by fans today; from its futuristic setting to its diverse characters, there’s a lot about the show to love.

RELATED: 10 Hilarious Futurama Memes Only Devoted Fans Will Understand

Some viewers would argue that one character, in particular, has collected more laughs than the others: John A. Zoidberg, a crustacean-like alien who is treated as both an incompetent pest and an employee by the rest of the Planet Express crew. Here are ten of the funniest quotes from Dr. Zoidberg.

10. “Why Not Zoidberg?”

These words are frequently spoken by Zoidberg along with “Woop Woop Woop Woop Woop Woop Woop!” It’s one of Zoidberg’s many catchphrases that are peppered throughout many Futurama episodes.

This quote plays into the idea that the other characters are often annoyed by Zoidberg and don’t always include him in what they’re doing. Fry, Leela, and the other members of Planet Express are often disgusted by his smell, his messy eating habits, and his general tomfoolery, and despite the fact that they make this known to him, Zoidberg always tries to win them over.

9. “Hooray! I’m Helping”

Fry and Bender become involved in a stickup at Big Apple Bank in the episode “Insane In The Mainframe”. Roberto, a murderous and psychotic robot who often threatens to stab other characters.

In the process of robbing the bank, he threatens Zoidberg before leaving some money with Fry and Bender, which frames them as the robbers. The context of this quote is what makes it funny; this was Zoidburg’s response when Roberto takes him hostage. It also highlights Zoidberg’s eagerness to be included, even when the activity is highly dangerous and potentially lethal.

8. “I Took The Liberty Of Fertilizing Your Caviar.”

This quote derives from a scene from”Where The Buggalo Roam”. Amy’s father Leo is enjoying some caviar at his home while hosting the annual Mars Day Picnic. Right after he takes a bite, Zoidberg leans in and says, “by the way, I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar” causing Leo to freeze up with revulsion.

Zoidberg has a unique character design that includes features from lobsters and other marine animals. His appearance and mannerisms are often the subjects of jokes in the show. He’s originally from the planet Decapod 10, a planet consisting of hundreds of sandy islands and humanoid lobster aliens like him. Decapodians began occupying Earth in the 23rd century when Decapod 10 ran out of anchovies, an important food source.

7. “I’m Swelling With Patriotic Mucus!”

Zoidberg proclaims this during the episode “A Taste Of Freedom”. During this episode, Fry learns about Freedom Day, a day in which no legal consequences apply no matter what you do.

RELATED: Futurama: 10 Episodes That Will Never Get Old

Zoidberg seems particularly excited about Freedom Day since he recalls that there wasn’t much freedom on Decapod 10. Ironically, his choice of expressing Freedom Day lands him in hot water after he decides to eat the Earth flag, resulting in him being labeled as a traitor.

6. “Hooray! People Are Paying Attention To Me!”

In “Godfellas” when Bender is launched into space, Professor Farnsworth searches for him with his Smelloscope device. When Leela asks whether or not it’s working, the Professor tells her it’s being “overwhelmed by local sources” and everyone looks at Zoidberg, who proclaims: “Hooray! People are paying attention to me!”

This quote once again reinforces the idea that Zoidberg craves companionship and inclusion from the others, while also exhibiting how repulsive his stench is.

5. “Your Music Is Bad And You Should Feel Bad!”

This quote from the episode “The Devil’s Hands Are Idle Playthings” was funny enough to actually inspire a viral meme back in 2003. It’s a rare moment where Zoidberg drops his usual kind demeanor; he shouts this out during a recital in which Fry plays the holophonor in hopes of expressing his true feelings to Leela.

Fry’s recital is completely unsuccessful and he’s booed off the stage. It’s possible that the socially awkward Zoidberg was trying to be assertively honest with Fry rather than insult him.

4. “A Lonely Weekend In My Dumpster With Pennies And Tears.”

Dr. Zoidberg was the center of the episode “Viva Mars Vegas”. In this episode, he becomes involved with the Robot Mafia when a bag of their money falls into his lap. Zoidberg says this quote as the crew head over to Vegas, which is located on Mars, leaving the always-broke Zoidberg behind. After finding the bag of money, the Mafia catches up to him. Zoidberg inks them and escapes to Mars and promptly gambles away the money.

Zoidberg is often depicted as poor and homeless on the show, reinforcing his pitiful existence and contradicts the image of the well off and successful medical doctor. The fact that he lives in the dumpster outside the Planet Express building doesn’t help his hygiene problems either.

3. “And Boy Does It Wick Away Moisture! Gallons And Gallons Of It!”

This was Zoidberg’s reaction to new uniforms in the episode “31st Century Fox”. The crew returns home with tattered uniforms after a mission involving giant moths. Professor Farnworth and Hermes then buy them a new set of uniforms. As usual, Zoidberg is eager and excited at this new change.

RELATED: 10 Times Futurama Made Us Cry

Besides inking and apparently excreting gallons of moisture, Zoidberg’s body does a number of odd things. He has a type of dorsal fin on top of his head that fans out when he becomes excited or angry, he can produce pearls and he sometimes molts his shell. There are seemingly endless new gross things about Zoidberg that viewers learn about through the seasons.

2. “What? My Mother Was A Saint! Get Out!”

This quote comes from the show’s pilot episode “Space Pilot 3000”, after Fry talks in what he thinks is gibberish but is apparently some vulgar words in Dr. Zoidberg’s native tongue. In this episode, Dr. Farnsworth takes in Leela, Bender, and Fry, who had decided to desert their jobs, and employs them alongside Zoidberg, Hermes, and Scruffy the janitor.

Dr. Zoidberg and Dr. Farnsworth are colleagues who go way back, which explains why he tolerates Zoidberg’s antics and keeps him around. Zoidberg even once promised to mercy kill Dr. Farnsworth if he ever fell ill to hyper-malaria.

1. “I Don’t Like The Look Of This Doctor… I Bet I’ve Lost More Patients Than He’s Treated”

Another interesting thing about Zoidberg’s character is apparent medical malpractice. As a doctor, Zoidberg receives little respect and prestige, and while Dr. Farnsworth claims he is an excellent doctor to aliens, Zoidberg shows no signs of medical knowledge when it comes to humans and often makes situations worse when he tries to heal other character’s injuries.

In “Bender Gets Made”, Bender makes this comment while watching another doctor treat Leela. While Zoidberg’s skills as a doctor are questionable, his self-confidence and ability to speak his mind are not.

NEXT: Futurama: 10 Big Mistakes That Zoidberg Did That We Can Learn From

Originally published at on September 3, 2020.



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Maria Antoniette Norris

Maria Antoniette Norris

Maria is an independent filmmaker, animator, writer, and intersectional feminist from Syracuse NY ✰✰